Some might say that this title is inappropriate or inadequate but yet again they have no understanding of what I’ll be on about. Some might say that it’s political, religious (in a discrediting way) but they’d be wrong too. See, in true Top Gear fashion, before I set off writing this entry I made a list of things I’m not going to do, and I did it, that list. So let us begin.
This one is new, this one is fresh so you’d expect it to better, more fun, entertaining, but it isn’t. In truth the first one was fun, interesting. A group of colleagues met again after so many year, a group of friends, or was it. Everyone came to see someone, some came to get nebulously drunk and others came to sit there enjoy and after everyone else sips the last drop of lager get in there and mock. That’s the true nature of “friendship”.
But this being new try, the second album . A short reminder, last year only one girl came, with her boyfriend, who is also a former colleague, a good friend, so the wolves went home hungry. This year half a dozen of sheep came again, into the wolves den, and one was pretty tail happy. So if you count out the married ones and us that are to be married pretty soon, there were about ten wolves left, and they were very hungry. It was funny watching, like fox hunting. We had the winner, a man who played his cards well. Last year he was in front of the wolf pack, completely drunk and entertaining, this year he was stealth, drunk but factually direct. He knew what he came for, so did the others, but he knew how to get it. It was fun though, we found out that if you want to make someone laugh all you have to do is lie. If you want to know how often, well at least every other word should not be true. I mean, I finished driving a drunk guy to Hungary, then made him push the car for 500 miles. He set the world record for the longest push…in the world.
Anyway, I had a great time being there, chatting with me mates, but now I’m back home and in front of the screen, watching my favouritest show, Top Gear. The three awesome old chaps are in the USA, with the proper visas for a proper show this time. There was nothing factual about it, apart from the facts that Jeremy is a fat, tall, noisy kid, whose hair, as we found out hadn’t started growing until he hit puberty. That James, even though he’s known as Captain slow is fastest, witty, logical, and can drone for a long, long period of time about the correctness of the technical advancements on the Ferrari 458 Italia’s steering wheel. Hammond was his usual self, short.
Now, they also went to Iraq, and made a trip over to Bethlehem as three wise man, carrying gifts for baby Jesus. It is interesting what they found though, a baby Stig. As we found out the Stig is sacked. At least the old one, the one that turned his back on his mates. I defended him, thought he was doing his job properly. As we found out, all he did was slow celebrities down, as the 145 years old man, brought out from the old people’s home proved, namely Tiff Needell.
Anyway, they brought the presents to baby Stig, brought a smile on my face and they were utterly amazing.
Now I had to mention something. Something that was said in “The News”.
Jeremy: Now Rich, Would you like some pu**y?!
Hammond: Well it wasn’t on my mind, it is now?
“What flavour is it?” – asked Mr. May wanting to know what’s the flavour of a new energy drink. And when business as usual resumed, Jeremy fused the light, set the stage on fire and saved the day by pouring some pu**y on it.
So on that bombshell…I’m not really going to end like that…write to you soon.
If you’re still wondering what the pu**y joke was supposed to be, watch this
For those who’d like to see the show, here’s it is, the Three wise men.