Confession to thy self

I’ve succumbed to the global, systematic dumbing down. For the past six to ten years my mind has been on idle. I thought I was going with the flow, actually I stood still. There was no flow, nothing happened. I was calm but only because I ignored the things that threatened to put my life off balance. I saw it that way, “things” were trying to put my life back into gear and back on course. This comes as a sort of a confession to thy self. I don’t even know if that is grammatically correct, I don’t even know what correct means any more.

Putting it out there for the world to see is what scares me the most. But I faced many of my fears and being judged by the others has come next in line. i know who I am, I know my shortcomings, biggest of being unable to put to practice all the ideas I had. Or maybe it was that I didn’t bother doing the things I liked and just went on not doing them. I wasn’t doing anything to be honest. Days began with a moan and ended with reluctance. It was good doing nothing but a point in life has come where one realizes that, not doing nothing means being left behind. And that is a fear I’m not ready to go face to face with. Not to mention losing the ones I love, that would hand in hand with suicide.

They say, whoever they are, that honesty is the best policy and I am being honest with myself. I’m about to kick myself hard in the but, jump start the old self, shake the rust of and go on doing thing I really love, things that make me happy, I’ll go on living to the fullest.

Hold tight world, here we go again.

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