I got into a discussion last night with a few friends about excessive comments on people’s appearance. One said that it is rude to say how you like something and to emphasize it by bringing up all the negatives, or the things you hate. Like: “I like curvy girls, hate the skinny ones because I feel they’d break in half when I touch them”, or “I like guys with muscle, can’t go out with a skinny guy who couldn’t defend….” and so on. Point is, those excessive comments are rude and affect many people, who then go on home crying and eating them selves to obesity or an eating disorder.
Harsh as it sounds this is true in many cases. I backed out of the discussion early because I dozed off, so it was unintentional backing off, with my point being that you shouldn’t really pay attention to what others say. Well you should, but only take it as a guideline for improvement, for making yourself better and not for feeling sorry for yourself. That is the worst thing you can do, feel sorry for yourself. Most people with various types of disorders have trouble with low self-esteem, low or no self respect and a high level of displeasure with themselves, be it the appearance (mostly) or any other trait.
I browsed around WordPress too to see what other people say, and I found a couple of posts that I found most interesting. Both written by girls (as the discussion went on others came to a conclusion that lads are not affected by the bad comments about their looks) and both can make you think one thing. You are the most important thing to yourself, Not what others say, but what you say, think or feel.
Media sets the standards, the community sets boundaries so if we don’t fit in we’re either branded inadequate or unwanted. But what they see as unwanted I just see as different or even better. If it is accepted by the majority still doesn’t make it the best choice. I read somewhere that “equality is a myth”, relating to gender equality but I pushed it into the equality of everyone, we all breathe the same air, and all have the same rights, so we shouldn’t look through gender or traits, or appearance as this post was at the beginning concerned with that. What seems ugly to someone might be the most beautiful thing to somebody else. But still it doesn’t change the fact that we are the ones important, we are the ones who create our own world, we are the ones who should create our own rules, and break the common boundaries, we shouldn’t worry about equality, we should worry about making ourselves better in our own eyes, feeling good about ourselves be it within or outside the preconceived boundaries of the society.
It went deeper that I thought, but anyway, here are the mentioned couple of posts, and a video, for the younger generation, put in simple English, by a regular kid.
What if it Were Perfect, That You’re Not Perfect?