It was never my intention to write about what went on in my life. No, really, I wanted to make this a blog about things around me, my opinion on certain developments in the world, like the oil crisis (yea right), or the political oppressions or the media torture through fast publishing and everyday showing of Lady Ga Ga. It is a global brainwash. But the thing is, over the past year it all changed, I changed.
I seem to have went down the road of finding my own talents, sort of a journey through myself. I must admit that I haven’t yet completely set all the things straight as yet I have doubts about what is really my first choice.
Life seems like a minefield of choices. Every step of the way we have to make a decision. Some decisions we make are good, some on the other hand rather bad. Some will have an effect on our lives in the long run, some decisions have short term effects. I have made many and I’ve learned that, what seems to be the easiest way at first is really the hard way in the long run.
Making choices by heart will lead you through thick and thin, but you’ll be satisfied because you do the things you love and no matter how hard they turn to be, you enjoy doing them. I tried to go around that. I was doing everything but the things I liked simply because I thought that it will be to hard living the dream. And it is a humble dream, nothing special, but yet I tried to avoid it.
I had to come around, decisions I made were wrong at times, and let me into situations where my opinion didn’t matter, where I had to shut up and get down to business, where I was pushed beyond the limits of tolerance, but I kept my mouth shut, didn’t complain because I thought that doing what I love is even harder.
What changed, what did this blog change? Well it is simple I write about everything, through simple posts I found out that what I was doing was wrong. I found out that I wasn’t true to myself, that I was avoiding less responsibility because I was simply afraid to follow the heart and followed the inexperience instead. The blog doesn’t respond, it lets you work your way through on your own. You lay your thoughts, list your decisions and then go over them. And my picture looks strange, paths I walked never went all the way to the top, there was always something in the way….so I came back to the root, myself, shut my eyes, and decided to follow it. There are still glitches of my inexperience interfering but this time I’m standing firm. From now on I’m being true to myself and actually I’m the only person I have to be true to.